Silence Wont Do It: Episode 3 - Choosing Silence

Why do people with something important to say decide not to say it?

In this episode of Silence Won't Do It, Sylvia Stevenson explores one of the most uncomfortable questions in organisational life: what happens when silence becomes a choice?

Using everyday workplace experiences, Sylvia challenges the assumption that culture is created only by leaders. She explores how repeated experiences shape whether people feel psychologically safe enough to contribute, challenge and speak honestly, and why the conversations that never happen often have the greatest impact on workplace culture.

This episode is a challenge to leaders and employees alike.

Because every time we choose silence, we make it a little easier for the culture to stay exactly as it is.

In the ZOUD Podcast with Sylvia Stevenson

Exploring the conversations many organisations avoid, but can no longer afford to ignore.

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Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:10

Welcome back to In the Zoud with me, Sylvia Stevenson. As a reminder, this series is called Silence Won't Do It. And in today's episode, we're going to be reflecting on why it is that people with something genuine to say decide not to say it, and what that silence can often cost everyone. Remember, in the last episode, we talked about silence from the cockpit and what happens when leadership goes quiet during turbulence, leaving people to fill the gaps for themselves. Well, today I'd like you to come with me on a bit of an imaginary journey. I'd like you to picture yourself in a room. You're sitting in a team meeting and a decision gets announced. It's already been made, it's presented as a done deal. As you sit there, you know something isn't right. Maybe the people making the decision don't have the full picture. Or maybe you've seen this approach fail before. It could be that you know it's going to land badly on the team, the people you work with, or the work itself. You know it, your colleagues know it, you can see it on their faces. Then someone asks, any questions? And there is silence. Not because there are no thoughts or any feedback, but because everyone has quietly decided that this isn't the moment to speak up. They've decided that speaking up won't help. It's easier to nod, leave the room, and have the real conversation over coffee or in the car on the way home. Now, if you've worked anywhere for more than five minutes, you've probably been in that room. Most of us have. And here's the Zoud truth. In that moment, we weren't actually powerless. We made a choice. And we chose silence. Now I want to be positively disruptive because this is the Zoud, as in the zone of uncomfortable debate. I'm not here to tell you that speaking up is easy, because you know and I know that it isn't. There are real risks that people fear. We know that careers have been affected, relationships have become strained. Good people have raised genuine concerns and found themselves overlooked afterwards. That happens, and I won't pretend that it doesn't. But if we're serious about changing workplace culture, we also have to be honest about the part we play in maintaining it. The cultures we complain about at home, over coffee, or on the drive home don't only exist because of poor leadership. They also survive because of the conversations that never happen. You see, silence isn't neutral. It never has been. Every time we choose silence, we make it a little easier for the culture to stay exactly as it is. We also make it a little harder for the next person to speak because they look around that room and believe they're on their own. Remember, whatever we tolerate, we will never change. You know, over the years I've noticed three reasons people give for staying quiet. The first one is it won't make any difference. I've raised things before, nothing's changed. Why would this time be any different? And I get that, I understand that. But it's also self-fulfilling, right? If everyone who has stopped believing change is possible also stops speaking, then change becomes even less likely. Before long, we've handed the future of the culture over to the next generation who are least bothered by it. The second is I don't want to be seen as difficult. I've got a good relationship with my manager, I don't want to rock the boat, especially in this season. Now here's what I'd ask. If your value to the organization depends on never disagreeing with it, is that really trust? The best leaders I've worked with never wanted people who simply agreed with them. They wanted people who were prepared to tell them the truth. The third reason is probably the one we talk about the most and probably do less about. And that is I don't feel safe. Now we don't always say those words out loud or hear those words out loud. Instead, they sound more like it's not really my place, or I think someone more senior will say something. Or I'm just a band, whatever, and I don't really carry much weight around here. I've heard that one often, just recently. Now, this always makes me stop and think, because when people no longer feel safe enough to contribute what they know, what they've seen, or what they're genuinely concerned about, we're no longer talking about confidence. We're talking about psychological safety. Somewhere along the way, that person has learned that staying quiet feels safer than speaking honestly. Now that's not a personal failing, it's a cultural failing, and it deserves to be called out for what it is. Here's what I know about organizations that genuinely change. They aren't transformed by strategies, frameworks, or glossy action plans. They change because ordinary people decide that something matters enough to say it out loud. And that's not because they're fearless or because they're trying to be disruptive. It's simply because they decide the gap between what's happening and what should be happening is too important to ignore. This is what changes culture. One conversation, one challenge, one person deciding, the silence stops with them. So let me leave you with one final thought. Every culture is shaped by the conversations people have. It's also shaped by the conversations they don't have. If there is something you know needs to be said, don't assume somebody else will say it. Because every time we choose silence, we're privately deciding that today isn't the day the culture changes. And perhaps that's the biggest cost of all. Thank you for listening. I'm Sylvia Stevenson, and I'll see you next time in the Zodiac.